Hairspray & Women

A friend and I were talking one day and as usual the discussion came around to women. He was about 10+ years older then me so I thought he might have some insight into why women don't think right or normal. Well it turns out he did have a theory, he called it the "Hairspray Theory". It works like this. When women are little girls their minds work fine, they are nice and friendly they can understand things, they make sense. Then it happens, fashion takes over, their mother or big sister or some other older women takes them under their wing and introduces them to "fashion". Make-up, dress up, perfume and then the dastardly culprit "Hairspray". By this point you're thinking as I was that my friend wasn't thinking to clearly himself, however having a male brain that is correctly wired I let him finish his statement. Did it ever make sense! Men and women take a look at the list of ingredients on a can of hairspray. Are any of them NOT on the DOT list of hazardous chemicals? You know the chemicals truck drivers need a special endorsement on their license to carry, the ones that the fire department puts on those protective suits and self contained breathing apparatus before they clean up any spills. The same chemicals homeland security would wonder why a civilian had them and the military would send in their bio-chemical warfare people to check them out. Those are what makes up hairspray. We are not suppose to be around it yet from before a little girl reaches 10 years old these chemicals are being sprayed directly on her scalp talk about child abuse. Don't you think that these chemicals which you need protective gear to handle permeate through her skin and bone and directly into her brain after a period of time? I do. What damage does it do to the brain and thinking process of the woman. I don't believe any scientific tests have yet to be done since I believe this is the first publishing of this theory. Enough non scientific data has definitely been gathered by men over the years and they were always told by the women they were wrong it was the men who had the problem with the brain. Talk about the inmates running the asylum, they dose themselves daily sometimes more then once with hazardous chemicals and don't think it does any damage, wow! I'm not even mentioning the chemicals in dyes, colorings, straighteners, conditioners. It's amazing we don't need special hazmat cemeteries to bury them in.It does get worse though men are now starting to use more and more of these same products. If this trend continues we may see the breakdown of civilization within a very few years. I am going to apply for a Federal grant to bring together the worlds top scientists to see if there is any way to reverse this condition in women. In the mean time please stop using it, "Just say NO to brain damage"
My friend's name remains a guarded secret to protect him.As far as I go I figure we could all use a good laugh. Hopefully the women will understand if they haven't used hairspray today.